Holiday“So, what do you think we should do for the holiday?”

I wrinkled my brow and tilted my head, considering my husband’s question. “Holiday? What holiday?”

Miles chuckled and shook his head. “Memorial Day.”

I frowned. “It’s Memorial Day already? Where did the time go?”

Miles smiled. “Yup, it’s this coming Monday.”

I continued to frown. “I hate that it’s a holiday. It used to be – and still should be – a day for remembering and honoring those who died in active military service. Now, it just the beginning of the summer season, and an excuse for a three-day weekend, with barbecues, picnics, beach parties, etcetera.”

“What be this aboot a bar-be-cue and pick-a-nick?” My Old Dwarf stomped across the room and joined the conversation, a wide grin on his face. “Be ye needin’ me help ta pack up tha food?”

I scowled at him. “Barbecue and picnic. They’re the only two words you heard, aren’t they? I was just saying how Memorial Day is no longer observed in the way in which it was intended.”

“There be nuttin’ wrong wit honoring yer war dead by throwin’ a feast in their memory, lass, an’ raisin’ a mug or two in recognition o their courage and sacrifice. Thet be tha way we Dwarves be doin’ it!”

My husband smiled and shrugged at me. “Can’t argue with the Dwarven way!”

“Be thet ta mean we be goin’ on a pick-a-nick?” My Old Dwarf’s eyes brightened.

I sighed. “I suppose we could go on an outing.”

Elf facing right“What is this about an outing?” Cleric entered the room and caught part of the conversation. “Are we going on another nature trek to take pictures, Mistress?” Cleric’s eyes sparkled with anticipation, and she fidgeted with the cord on her robe.

I shrugged. “I suppose we could do some nature photography as part of the outing.”

“As long as ye do na be forgittin’ tha food!” My Old Dwarf smacked the flat of his axe against his palm for emphasis.

blue-dragon-facing-leftNow Dragon entered the room and the conversation. “Nature photography? Food? What is transpiring?”

“This coming weekend is Memorial Day weekend, and Miles thinks we should do something to celebrate. My Old Dwarf wants to have a picnic or barbecue, and Cleric would like to go on a nature hike. Do you have any preferences?”

“Yes. I think we should stay at home and enjoy a day of rest.”

arrogant-one-facing-rightMy Arrogant One, who had been right behind Dragon, grimaced and stuck his nose in the air. He commented in a petulant whine, “I thought you said it was a holiday. I suppose you are proposing a stayiday, like our last vacation was a staycation?”

I rolled my eyes as I remembered what my Arrogant One had said about that vacation. “The concept of vacation is new to me; however, I do understand it to involve travel away from one’s place of residence. We have traveled nowhere. For the past two weeks, we have not once taken leave of this place.

And when I had attempted to explain the concept of a staycation to him, he had declared the word to be merely another term for boring.

I sighed. “Yeah, I agree. I guess staying home to celebrate a holiday would be much the same as staying home for a vacation.”

“It be all set, then.” My Old Dwarf rubbed his hands together. “I be helpin’ wit tha food.”

“Of course you will.” Dragon sighed a puff of smoke at the old reprobate, who just laughed at her.

“Ye be seein’, beastie. It be a whole lot o fun!”

Dragon lifted an eyebrow and snorted. “I suppose I will be required to go.”

I nodded. “I think it would be nice if we all went. And besides, you’ve enjoyed these outings in the past.”

“Very well.” Dragon shrugged. “It might not be completely unbearable.”

“I will let the others know.” Cleric started to leave the room.

Miles“Wait a minute! We haven’t even decided where we should go, or on which day of the three-day weekend.” I looked at Miles. “What do you think, honey?”

“Why don’t we go Saturday? We should be able to prepare enough food by then. And we can go to your favorite picnic area by that woodland lake.”

I nodded, and Cleric skipped off to inform my other characters of our plans.

My Old Dwarf grasped Miles by the arm and led him off to check out the freezer. “Be ye thinkin’ we be havin’ enough vittles, or be we needin’ ta go to tha market?”

The rest of the week passed quickly as we prepared for our outing. The night before our trek, I called all my characters together. “It’s been a while since we’ve all gone on an outing. Let me remind everyone of the rules. First, all weapons, wands, staffs, and spell components will be left at home. Second, you will all dress in the modern garb of this world. Third, you will behave in a civilized manner. Last, if we encounter anyone, you will tell no one who you really are. If anyone asks, you’re some out-of-town relatives and friends, visiting for a few weeks.” I glared at them. “Do you all understand?”

Everyone nodded. My Arrogant One sniffed disdainfully. “This is not our first outing! We do understand the rules of deportment.”

“That’s rich, considering the last time we went on an outing, I had to remind you that you could not wear your robes.”

My Old Dwarf snickered.

“And I had to remind you that you could not go wandering around in public in your chain mail!” I scowled at the two of them.

Everyone murmured promises of good behavior, but the next morning when we were packing the car, it was as if we had gone back in time. Everything was just as it had been the last time we went on an outing.

Despite the previous night’s agreements, I had to confiscate several weapons and one staff, and neither my Old Dwarf nor my Arrogant One wanted to change their outfits.

I frowned at my Old Dwarf. “I’m sorry, but I’ve told you before that you just can’t wander around in chain mail. It would draw too much attention.”

I turned to my Arrogant One. “And I have told you that your robes are far too extravagant for an outing like this.”

It took another 15 minutes, and a lot of animated discussion, to convince them, but by the time Miles had loaded the picnic hamper and coolers into the car, everyone was presentable and ready to leave.

Ninety minutes later we arrived at one of my favorite picnic areas, a beautiful lakeside venue. My characters were eager to get set up, and they piled out of the car the moment my husband had it parked. Miles and I unloaded our supplies, and my characters helped us carry everything down the trail to the picnic table in the shade of the trees by the lake.

Picnic table by lake

camera for blogEveryone pitched in and helped my husband prepare the food. After a huge lunch, I suggested we go exploring. “I know Cleric wanted to assist with some nature photography, so I brought my camera. You’re all welcome to join us if you wish, to check out the resident wildlife.”

Easter 128“I’m sorry, honey.” Miles looked at me apologetically. “With the medications I take, you know I can’t tolerate the sunlight. I must stay here in the shade. The rest of you go enjoy yourselves. I’ll just clean up everything here and then take a nap under these trees.”

I gave my husband a quick kiss, grabbed my camera, and headed down the path. Dragon, in her guise of an elf maiden was right behind me, along with Cleric and Sorceress. When I turned around to see who else was coming, though, I stopped dead in my tracks.

My Old Dwarf, my Bounty Hunter, and my Arrogant One were back in their medieval apparel, weapons drawn, ready to engage in a melee. My Foreman, my Gypsy, and my Young Hero were also in their traditional attire, astride their horses, preparing to joust.


What is going on here?” I think my sister in Connecticut, some 1300 miles away, could probably hear me shriek.

Dragon shrugged. “They wanted to hold a tournament. I did not see the harm.”

Didn’t see the harm?” I gaped at her.

Dragon sighed. “Do not fret. I have cast a spell of concealment. No one will ever see them.”

I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest. “No. This is not going to happen. You three dismount. Everyone get rid of the weapons and return to the clothes you were wearing when we left the house this morning. Now!

“Oh, Mistress, why can we not . . .” My Gypsy started to wheedle but stopped when he saw the look I shot him.

Muttering and sighing, all my characters returned to modern gear. The horses and weapons disappeared, fading slowly out of existence.

“Come on. We’ll all go for a nature hike. I daren’t let any of you out of my sight!”

Grumbling, my characters trudged along as we headed down the trail that took us around the lake and into the woods on the other side.

My Old Dwarf walked next to Dragon and whispered to her. “Sometimes I be wishin’ thet tha lass be a wee bit more understandin’ aboot us. It be difficult ta be tryin’ all the time ta be fittin’ inta a new life. Oh, I be knowin’ thet we be livin’ here in her world for a good long time now, but we a been livin’ in our own world a whole lot longer afore thet! It be hard ta be givin’ up tha life we been knowin’ then.”

“Indeed!” Dragon nodded. “I wonder how well Mistress Writer would adapt to being ripped from her own familiar world and finding herself suddenly dropped into a totally alien society.”

“Now thet be a thought!” My Old Dwarf chuckled at the notion.

small figure on trailNeither Dragon nor her companion saw the small figure on the side of the trail. It was only slightly smaller than the squirrels that were scampering through the tall grass. It had a white beard and long, rabbit-like ears. A sly grin spread across its stony face as it listened to the conversation between my Old Dwarf and Dragon.

Despite their initial grumbling, all my characters joined in with enthusiasm when we started to see wildlife along the trail. They began a friendly competition to find, and identify, each animal along the way.

My Gypsy was first, much to Cleric’s disappointment. He pointed to two birds in trees near the lake “Look! There are two male Red-winged Blackbirds!”

Not to be outdone, Cleric pointed. “And there are the females!”


My Young Hero spoke up. “There’s a Song Sparrow.”

My Gypsy looked where the other lad was pointing. “No, that is a Swamp Sparrow. That one is a Song Sparrow.” He pointed at another small bird in a nearby tree.

Sorceress pointed at a group of birds on the lake. “I believe I have heard you call those large birds Canada Geese, Mistress.”

I nodded.

Dragon pointed at a single goose, closer to the shore. “There is another one. What a lovely reflection!”

“That Mallard also has a beautiful reflection!” My Bounty Hunter pointed.

My Arrogant One pointed at a bird on the wooden fishing pier. “Is that another of the same type, a Mallard?”

My Gypsy nodded.

Our attention was drawn to a nearby copse of trees, where we heard a persistent tapping. We followed the trail away from the lake and into the woods, looking for the source of the sound. “There!” My Foreman pointed. “A Red-headed Woodpecker!”

“Red-bellied Woodpecker,” my Gypsy corrected him, as I took some photos.

“An’ there be three right furry little bunny rabbits.” My Old Dwarf pointed.

My Gypsy looked where the dwarf was pointing and laughed. “I believe two of them are squirrels.”

The Secret TrailWe continued along the trail, enjoying the warm weather, the scenery, and the camaraderie. We had walked a considerable distance when I spotted a path off to the right, marked by a sign proclaiming it a Secret Trail. “Hmmm. I thought I knew every trail in this park, but I don’t ever remember seeing that one before.”

I began to lead the group up the overgrown steps rising from the forest floor.

“Stop!” Dragon cried out. “This trail does not feel right.”

“What do you mean?” I called back over my shoulder from the top of the steps.

“Mistress, take heed! There is something amiss here.” Dragon was wide-eyed, and the color had drained from her delicate elven features.

I immediately turned around. “Let’s go back, then.”

But the woods at the bottom of the steps looked different. I could not see the trail leading back toward the lake. From our position at the bottom of the steps, steps which also looked much different than the ones we had started to climb, the trail branched off in three directions. To the right, the path was choked by protruding tree roots. To the left, the trail was lined with boulders. Straight ahead, a wide avenue passed under a canopy of trees.different steps

Wide avenue

This was not the park where we had had our picnic, where we had just been hiking and taking wildlife photographs. Where were we?

Where are my characters and I? How did we get here? Will we be able to find our way back to the picnic grove, and to my husband? Be sure to come back next week for another exciting episode. We’ll leave the porch light on for you.

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And on this Memorial Day weekend, my husband and I, as well as my characters, wish to offer tribute to all who have perished in the service of their country. They will never be forgotten!

Memorial Day 3

Backyard Birding Bliss

Backyard Birding Bliss


That was my tenth sneeze in half as many minutes. My eyes were watery, my nose was alternately stuffy and runny, my throat was scratchy, and I was coughing so much, my ribs hurt.

Oh, no! Not a cold! I don’t need a cold right now, with spring migration in full swing! There are so many places I want to go hiking to take photos of birds I only see in the spring and fall!fever.jpg

I grabbed the digital thermometer and stuck it under my tongue. I paced while I listened to the low, regular beeps that denoted it was working. It seemed forever before it sounded the triplet of beeps that indicated it had registered my temperature.

99 point 9 on the Fahrenheit scale. Not good. My normal temperature was 97, and anything over 99 signaled a fever.

Goodbye, spring migration! I sighed heavily. I put the thermometer back into the medicine cabinet and walked out to the living room.

Elf facing rightCleric looked up from a book she was reading. Her eyes widened. “Mistress?”

“Wad is id?”

“Mistress, you do not look well!” She jumped from her chair and rushed over to me. She placed her hand on my forehead and cried out in alarm.Dragon birdwatching

“What is it?” Dragon looked up from the back of the couch. She had shrunk from her normal bulky form to the size of a large housecat and climbed up there to watch the backyard creatures.

“Dragon! I fear Mistress Writer is ill!”

Elf cleric close-upDragon leaped from the back of the sofa. She shapeshifted mid-leap into her customary guise of an elf maiden and was by my side in a split second. She placed her hand on my forehead and drew back in alarm. “You are correct, Cleric. Mistress Writer is ill.”

Before I could say a word, Dragon and Cleric were trying to hustle me toward the hall to my bedroom. “You must rest, Mistress. I will attend you in your bed chamber, while Cleric prepares some healing herbs.”

I shook off my well-meaning characters. “Would you two stop? I just have a cold. It’s no big deal.”

That might have sounded more convincing if it wasn’t followed by a burst of sneezing that ended in a fit of coughing. I grabbed for a nearby box of tissues.

Dragon frowned. “Mistress, I fear it may be much worse than that! It might be that alien disease brought to this world by the snow devils I inadvertently transported here in the magical conduit! Remember, it almost took the lives of seven of our comrades!”

I scoffed. “Nonsense!” Achoo!

Cleric nodded. “Mistress Writer is correct. Too much time has passed since the snow devils were here. Those who were susceptible to the disease they brought have already been afflicted and have recovered.” She drew her mouth into a thin, straight line, and she shook her head emphatically. “No, this could be something introduced into this world by those animals which I inadvertently let loose when I tried to read the story Mistress Writer was creating on her magic box.”

Arguing over which disease I may have contracted from which source, the two companions continued to tug me toward the hallway.

“It’s a cold.” I pulled away from Cleric and Dragon, leaving them standing there open-mouthed while I stomped off to the kitchen to heat up some broth.

The broth made me feel marginally better, and I went back to the living room. Dragon had resumed her mini-reptile form and was on the back of the couch again, and Cleric was in the recliner, fidgeting with her book. Both watched me surreptitiously, but neither spoke.


I walked over to the open French doors and stared out through the screen into the yard. The air was fresh, the sunshine bright, the birdsong pervasive. I sighed heavily.

Cleric set her book down and approached me timidly. “Mistress?”

I sneezed.

“Will we still be going on the nature hike today, as we had planned?”

I gave her a dirty look as I doubled over coughing.

Dragon snorted. “I daresay you would have quite the time trying to approach the animals with all that sneezing and coughing.”

tissuesI grabbed for the box of tissues.

Cleric tilted her head and furrowed her brow. She placed her hands on her hips and sighed. “I will make you a mixture of honey and lemon that will soothe your throat, and I will add a few herbs that will repress your coughing and quell your sneezing.”

“Thanks, Cleric, but I still don’t think I’d be up to a hike today.” Several more sneezes punctuated my statement.gazebo for blog

“Very well. We will stay home.” Cleric headed for the kitchen. She called over her shoulder to me. “You get your camera, Mistress. We will sit in the warm sun on your gazebo and I will ask the birds and furry creatures to pose for you.”

I shrugged. No point arguing. I grabbed a few more tissues and my camera. Moments later, I accepted the mug of warm liquid Cleric had prepared for me. The pleasant honey-lemon flavor masked the taste of the other medicinal herbs she had added, and I quickly drained the mug. She took it back to the kitchen and refilled it. We took the soothing beverage with us into the backyard. Soon, we were soaking up the warm rays of sunshine, and Cleric was charming the backyard critters into posing for me.

Before I even had my camera ready, Cleric squealed in delight. “Look! There is Black-capped Chickadee in that tree!”

I looked where Cleric was pointing and focused my camera. “The breeze has ruffled its feathers. It looks like it’s having a bad hair day.” The little bird flew off before I could get more than one photo, scolding chk-a-dee-dee-dee.

Black-capped Chickadee
“I think you insulted her, Mistress.”

I ducked my head and feigned a guilty expression. I took a sip of my beverage and looked around. “There is a pair of American Goldfinches on the remains of last year’s thistle over in the far corner of the yard. Do you think you can get them to pose for me?”

“Only if you promise not to insult them.” Cleric winked at me, then started conversing with the birds. With her help, I was able to get one photo of the shy female goldfinch, and four of the more social male.

“Perfect!” I smiled at Cleric.

“There is your friend, Robbie!” Cleric pointed at an American Robin foraging in the grass. I took a quick photo of the bird before a chipmunk came along and chased it.

American Robin
I got a shot of the chipmunk, trying to look innocent sitting in the grass where it had just chased the robin. Cleric called to it, and it came up on the gazebo to visit.

A pair of Northern Cardinals also came onto the gazebo and started eating the grapes Cleric had placed there for the animals. The female was a dainty little eater; the male attacked his food with much more gusto.

While the Cardinals were eating, a Common Grackle flew onto the railing and hopped up on the post, checking things out. His iridescent feathers shone brilliantly in the sunlight.

As the grackle flew off, Cleric called my attention to another bird. “Look, Mistress! Isn’t that the thrush we saw the other day?”

I followed Cleric’s gaze to a nearby tree and saw a Swainson’s Thrush. After I took a picture, I asked Cleric if she could coax the bird closer. A moment later, the Swainson’s Thrush was visiting with us on the gazebo and checking out the grapes.

I took some photos of some Baltimore Orioles in a tree, and Cleric coaxed one down onto the nearby hummingbird feeder.

Cleric convinced a Mourning Dove in the tree to come down for a visit.

Then she did the same thing with a Song Sparrow.

I spotted two White-throated Sparrows, late spring migrants I was surprised to see still in the area. Cleric could not convince them to come close, and they remained in the trees while I photographed them.

A male Red-winged Blackbird called from a tree, and I got a photo of him displaying for a couple of females. One female was on the ground, foraging, and the other was in the reeds at the back of the yard. All three ignored Cleric’s attempts to coax them closer.

Spotting a Yellow-rumped Warbler in the tree, Cleric started talking to it. In seconds, the bird, and several of its flock-mates, came down to pose on the nearby feeders.

The last photos Cleric arranged for me were a squirrel and a rabbit. By then, we were both ready to call it a day.

As we walked back inside, Cleric took my empty mug to the kitchen to rinse out. I suddenly realized I had not coughed or sneezed the entire time we were outside!


What will next week bring? More backyard birding? Another nature trek? A new adventure? Be sure to come back and join us for whatever is in store. We’ll leave the porch light on for you.

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You Didn’t Miss a Thing

You Didn’t Miss a Thing

Marge calling for quietCleric was sobbing, Dragon was growling, the deer were wailing and bleating, the raccoons were whirring, the birds were chirping, and the rabbit was thumping her foot and glaring at me. I was getting a colossal headache.

I held my hands up and shouted over the racket. “Hold it! Hold it!

Arrogant One facing rightThe din quieted for one blessed moment. Then my Arrogant One began screeching in his customary glass-shattering tone.

“I have nothing to do with this . . . this menagerie! I demand you tell this oaf to release me. At once!” He attempted to pull free of my Old Dwarf’s grip, but the stout figure held on tight.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at the annoying elf. “You assure me these animals are not illusions you have created?”

RabbitBefore my Arrogant One could reply, the rabbit thumped her hind foot again. “Ya don’t listen real good, do ya, sista? I told ya before, I ain’t no illusion!” She underscored this pronouncement with another thump of her foot.

I frowned at the furry creature. Then I sighed and nodded at my Old Dwarf. “Let the elf go.”

The old reprobate dropped the elf on his head and snickered. My Arrogant One scrambled to his feet, straightened his robes, stuck his nose in the air and started to sweep regally out of the room. He promptly tripped over the rabbit.

“He’s a clumsy lout, ain’t he?” The rabbit wriggled her nose at the elf, then quickly hopped out of his reach. The irate elf screeched something unintelligible at the furry critter, then stormed out of the room.

I sighed as I looked around. The mother deer’s eyes were pleading, as she stood protectively over her frightened baby. The other animals looked terrified, save the rabbit. She just looked angry. Her anger was mirrored in Dragon’s hard stare.

Cleric cryingI turned to Cleric, who was still crying. Tears rushed down her face, silent sobs shook her petite frame. “Suppose you explain what’s going on.” I tried to marshal my tone of voice to be reassuring rather than accusatory, but I must have failed, as Cleric only bawled harder.

Dragon growled. “I should think it obvious. Cleric attempted something for which she is untrained and inexperienced. She failed. These creatures were brought into this world because of her actions.”

“I only wanted to read the children’s story Mistress Writer was creating on her magic box.” Cleric stood there blubbering, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her robes.

I handed her some tissues and she mopped the tears from her face, then blew her nose. I waited for her to finish. “You were in my office? On my computer?” I raised an eyebrow.

Cleric nodded, shuffling her feet and fidgeting with her robe.

Dragon shook her head and growled again. “Why did you not wait for Mistress Writer? Why did you attempt to access the story on your own?”

I had to strain to hear Cleric’s hoarse reply. “Mistress Writer had gone shopping with Master Miles.” She paused, her cheeks burning, her eyes leaking fresh tears. “She was gone for so long! I did not think she would mind if I read the story without her. I have seen our Gypsy friend activate the magic box many times. I thought I remembered how he did it.”

“Obviously, you did not.” Dragon frowned. “Now we must do something about these intruders.”

The mother deer started wailing again. “Don’t let that beast barbecue my baby!”



Momma deer and fawn

I held my hand up again. “No one is going to barbecue anyone.”

Dragon growled again, dark smoke spewing from her snout. “We must eliminate them. They are a danger to us all.”

The rabbit thumped her foot. “Us? A danger? That’s rich, sista, coming from the beast with the fiery breath and the temper to match!”

I pushed the rabbit out of harm’s way with my foot, and I faced Dragon. “They don’t look all that dangerous to me.”

Dragon’s tail lashed, and she snarled. “The snow devils did not look dangerous, either. They almost caused the death of seven of our number.”

Miles scoffed. “You still have no proof the illness originated with them.”

“And you have no proof it did not. Dare we gamble that these creatures carry a dangerous, contagious disease that could wipe us out?”

I sighed and raked my hand through my hair. “I understand your concern, but we are not going to take extreme measures when we have no proof anyone is in danger.”

Dragon roared. “By the time we have proof, we could all be dead!” Her face was contorted with fear and anger.

I placed my hand on her scaly arm and stared up at her. “Let me take care of this.”

For many long moments, Dragon glared at me. Finally, she lowered her head and nodded. I could hear the whoosh as everyone – including me – let out their collectively held breath.

I turned back to Cleric. “I need you to be calm now. I need you to remember exactly what you did that caused the characters from my story to enter this world.”

Cleric nodded her understanding but was unable to calm down. She continued to blubber, wringing her hands and shredding the tissues I had given her.

Sorceress squeezed her friend’s arm and tried to help her focus. “If we go into Mistress Writer’s office, maybe you can show us what you did.”

Dragon scoffed. “Great idea. Maybe she can bring some more creatures from within the magic box into this world!”

“Yeah, ya did miss a few, sista.” The rabbit wriggled her nose at Cleric. “Ya might wanna bring my kids here, and the raccoons and the birds would, ya know, probably like ta see their moms again.” The furry creature frowned at Cleric and thumped her foot.

“But I do not know how I brought you creatures here!” Cleric was crying again. “I do not know how to bring the others here to you, or how to send you back to them!”

“Let us not capitulate to panic.” Sorceress patted her friend’s arm. “We will figure this out together.”

I furrowed my brow and raked my hand through my hair. “Dragon, I want your word you will not harm any of these animals while Cleric, Sorceress, and I go to my office.”

Dragon with smokeDragon stood there, black smoke rising from her nostrils. She narrowed her eyes but said nothing.

dwarf“Ye do na be worrin’ none aboot tha wee critters. I be keepin’ an eye on tha big beastie. She will na be botherin’ ’em any.” My Old Dwarf stared at Dragon, a defiant smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. He slapped the flat of his axe against the palm his hand.

Dragon looked down at the diminutive figure and snorted. The dwarf did not back down. Finally, the beast lowered her head and whispered something in her friend’s ear. My Old Dwarf slapped his knee and doubled over. Tears streamed down his face as he whooped with laughter. “Ye be thinkin’ so, beastie? Wale, we just be seein’ aboot thet!”

The rabbit wrinkled her nose. She turned to me and shook her head. “Strange gang ya got here, sista!” She looked at my Old Dwarf again. He was still shaking with laughter. The rabbit tilted her head. “Ya gonna share the joke, bub? What did the ugly brute say ta ya ta tickle your funny bone?”

“Thet be atween me an’ tha beastie. All ye be needin’ ta be knowin’ be thet ye be as safe here now as a dwarf countin’ ’is money.”

“Good.” I beckoned to Cleric and Sorceress. “Let’s go see if we can figure out how to undo this mess.”

Miles started to follow us. I placed a restraining hand on my husband’s arm. “Honey, it’s going to be crowded in my office, and Cleric’s nervous enough as it is. Would you mind terribly if I asked you to stay here?”For today's blog 001

“Here?” Miles’ eyes grew round and big as saucers, and all color drained from his face. He looked at Dragon and my Old Dwarf. “I think I’d feel safer with you.”

“Ye be thinkin’ I be lettin’ tha beastie be makin’ good on ’er promise ta be charrin’ yer shoes wit yer feetsies still in em, laddie?” My Old Dwarf chuckled and winked at Miles.

Miles turned bright red and stammered a reply. “No! No, of course not!”

“Good. Then ye be keepin’ us company and be lettin’ tha lassies be settin’ this all ta rights agin.”

I gave my husband an encouraging smile and left the room with Cleric and Sorceress in tow.

In my office, I sat at my computer and brought up the story I had been working on. I read it over quickly, noting that nothing had been changed. I closed the word processing program and put my computer into sleep mode.

“Okay, everything should be exactly as it was when you entered my office earlier.” I pointed to my chair. “Sit here and try to remember what you did.”

Cleric sat down, but looked at the computer as if it were a coiled rattlesnake. “I . . . I do not remember.”cleric at computer

“Well, if you wanted to read the story now, what would you do?” Sorceress prodded her friend.

“I . . . I think I would activate the magic box?” Cleric’s inflection made it more a question than a statement.

I nodded and gave her an encouraging smile. “That’s right. Now, how would you do that?”


Instead of reaching for the mouse, Cleric started pecking at the keyboard.

“Wait! What are you typing?” I looked over Cleric’s shoulder, but only the icon with the words “Owner Locked” underneath it appeared on the screen.

“I am asking the magic box if I may see the story.” Cleric looked at me, wide-eyed and nervous. “Is that not what I should do?”

I frowned, but patted Cleric on the back reassuringly. “How are you asking it? What words are you typing?”

Sorceress intervened. “Mistress, mayhap it would be better . . . safer . . . if you had Cleric write the words on a parchment scroll rather than actually asking the machine.”

I nodded and handed Cleric a piece of paper and a pen.writing spell

I watched as Cleric painstakingly wrote out the request she had made of the computer. She was concentrating so hard, she stuck her tongue out the side of her mouth, wrinkled her nose, and squinted. When she was finished, she handed me the paper.

I raised an eyebrow. I couldn’t read a single word. “You wrote this in your native tongue?”

“Well, in the language of my order.”


rabbit again“Get with it, sista!” I hadn’t noticed the rabbit had joined us, and I jumped when she addressed me. She thumped her foot and gave me a look that clearly said she thought I had just fallen off the turnip truck. “The dame’s a cleric, sista. She used the words she would use ta cast a clerical spell, the words she learned from her clerical order.”

Suddenly, it all became clear. Cleric had summoned the story, not accessed it. I frowned and rubbed my chin. “Then why didn’t all the animals from my story end up in this world?”

“How should I know, sista? Do I look like a cleric?” She thumped her foot again.

Ignoring the obnoxious rabbit, I turned to Cleric. “Do you think you can reverse the spell and send the animals back?”

“I . . . I do not know, Mistress. I can try.”

one more rabbit pic

The rabbit started thumping again, this time with both back legs. “Waddaya mean try? Try ain’t good enough, sista! Ya gotta be sure. I need ta get back ta my babies before they starve, and those baby birds and raccoons need ta get home ta their mommas! Ya can’t go sending us off ta oblivion, or ta the middle of some other story.”

Cleric turned pale as a ghost. Her chin trembled, and tears welled up once more in her cornflower blue eyes. “What if I fail, Mistress? What if I cannot send them all back to the right place within the magic box?”

Sorceress took Cleric’s hand and looked sternly at her friend. “Pshaw! It was a simple spell you used to summon them here. You could cast a reverse spell in your sleep!”

It was obvious Cleric didn’t believe it was so easy. I handed her more paper. “Why don’t you and Sorceress work on it? Write it down and don’t type it into the computer until you know you have it correct.”writing spell

Forty-five minutes later, Cleric and Sorceress nodded and Cleric gave me a brilliant smile. I squeezed Cleric’s arm and returned the smile. “Okay! Now don’t touch anything until I return.”

The rabbit and I went to the conference room. The rest of the animals were cowering behind my husband, while Dragon and my Old Dwarf engaged in a standoff in the middle of the room.

“That’s enough of that!” I shot them both a warning look, then walked over to the animals. “It’s okay now. Come with us. Cleric will send you all home.”

The rabbit and I gently herded the other animals there into my office. The mother deer gave Cleric a doubtful look. She sidled up to me and whispered, “Are you sure this lady can send us home?”

“I am. Just have faith and everything will be fine.”

“It bedda be, sista!” The rabbit thumped her foot once more before joining the other animals standing mext to Cleric.

Cleric took a quick headcount. Once she was certain all the animals she had brought into this world were present in the office, she began. Ten minutes later, as Cleric slowly and meticulously typed her spell on the computer keyboard, the animals began to fade. Five minutes after that, all that remained was a voice, sounding as if coming from a great distance. “Ya did it, sista! We’re home!”

Cleric almost collapsed on the keyboard, weeping with joy. I grabbed her and moved her away before she could accidentally push any other keys.

At dinner that night, my Gypsy addressed me. “Your Arrogant One mentioned you had some visitors today. Did we miss anything?”

I raised my eyebrows, Miles turned white, Dragon snorted a huge cloud of smoke, my Old Dwarf doubled over laughing, and Sorceress groaned. Cleric clasped her hands in her lap and looked at my Gypsy with guileless eyes. “No, you did not miss a thing.”

What will my characters get into next? Be sure to return next week and join us for our next adventure. We’ll leave the porch light on for you.

Dragon’s Not the Only One With a Problem

Dragon’s Not the Only One With a Problem

For today's blog 001“What is Dragon’s problem?”

I looked up from my computer, and my husband leaned over and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before continuing. “I know she’s moody most days, but she’s really outdoing herself today.”

I put my finger over my lips, trying to signal Miles not to say any more, but he kept talking.Charing shoes 2

“Do you know she threatened me? Again! She told me she’s going to char my shoes with my feet still in them. She hasn’t said that in ages, and now she’s threatened me with it three times in the last hour!”

“Ah, honey . . . this may not be the best time to discuss this matter.” I inclined my head and my eyes darted toward the back of the room.

Dragon in officeMiles looked over the mess and mayhem that was my office, and realized Dragon was standing next to the bookshelf in the alcove at the far end of the room. A toothy grimace spread across her reptilian face.

“Oops.” My husband turned bright red, then gulped. “I’m dead meat, aren’t I?”

Dragon put down the book she had been perusing, and fixed Miles with an icy stare. “I am not moody.”

Miles raised his eyebrows. “If you say so.”

“I do.” She walked toward him, closing the gap between them in two steps, incredibly not disturbing any of the precariously positioned clutter with her great bulk.
Miles and Dragon
The huge beast towered over my husband. She leaned over, pushing her face right into his. She glared at him, nose to nose, for several long, agonizing moments, then straightened up and left the room without another word.

I jumped up and caught Miles by the arm and guided him into a chair as his legs turned to rubber. He looked at me, wide-eyed, with beads of sweat on his forehead. “Why didn’t you do something? She might have eaten me . . . or roasted me . . . or –”

“Oh, honey, Dragon would never harm you. She gets her giggles from intimidating you.” I gave him a peck on the cheek and affectionately tousled he hair. “Besides, it’s your own fault. I tried to tell you this was not a good time to talk about her.”

After he had calmed down, Miles got up and walked over to the door. He glanced into the hallway to make sure Dragon wasn’t standing there, listening. When he was certain the big beast had departed, he turned back to me. “So, what is her problem today?”

I sighed and dragged my hand through my hair. “She’s feeling guilty.”

“Why?” Miles sat down again.

“She believes that she’s responsible for the recent illness that incapacitated so many of her comrades.”

Miles furrowed his brow. “How could she be responsible?”

Snow devils on mountainI shrugged. “She’s convinced herself, since she can’t find any other source of the malady, that it must have been introduced into our world by the snow devils. And, you remember, she’s the one who inadvertently captured them in her magical conduit and brought them here.”

Miles tilted his head and rubbed his chin. “How can she be sure the snow devils were the source of the illness?”

I sighed again. “I don’t think she is sure, but she’s desperate to find the cause. She fears that such a disease could strike again.”

Miles scoffed and shook his head. “Knowing where it came from isn’t going to prevent it from happening again. And, anyway, she could be wrong. The virus or bacteria causing the illness could have come from anywhere. Since it didn’t affect us, it could have been a common germ from our own world for which your characters had no immunity.”

“I know. I pointed that out to Dragon. She dismissed that argument, saying she and Cleric weren’t affected, either, so it couldn’t have been a germ from this world. She thinks her explanation makes the most sense.” I sighed again. “Dragon is all too ready to assume blame for the whole incident. So, cut her some slack. Be nice to her or avoid her for a while until this all blows over.”

“And maybe I should invest in some fireproof shoes, in case I can’t stay out of her way?” Miles winked at me and left.

Two hours later, Cleric knocked on the door. “Mistress? Master Miles requested me to ask you if you could assist him upstairs.”

computer-and-monitorI looked up. “Uh, sure. Just let me save this story I’ve been working on.”

Cleric crossed the room and looked over my shoulder at the computer. “What are you writing about?”

“Oh, it’s just a silly kid’s story, with talking animals.”

“Oh, that sounds delightful! May I read it?”

“Well, it’s nowhere near finished yet, but sure, you can read it next time I work on it – probably sometime this afternoon, after I finish helping Miles.” I tilted my head and winked at Cleric. “Maybe you could even help me write it.”

About a half-hour later, I called down the stairs to Cleric, “I’ve got to go out for a while. Miles and I need to do some shopping. I’ll see you when I get home.

                                                                           *  * *
Elf facing rightCleric paced back and forth in the hallway outside my office door. She chewed on her bottom lip and wrung her hands. She scuffed her foot back and forth and straightened her robes. She walked to the foot of the stairs and looked up, staring as if willing me to walk in the front door. After a few minutes, she sighed and walked back to my office. She stood there for a few more moments before entering the room.

computer_keyboardMistress Writer will not mind if I look at the story without her being present. Cleric looked at my computer and hesitated. I have watched the Gypsy activate this machine countless times, when we characters used to sneak in here and read Mistress Writer’s manuscripts and look at her photographs. Now, how did he do it?  She began to tap on the keyboard.


                                                                   * * *
“Let’s try to get these groceries inside and put away as quickly as possible. I promised Cleric she could read that children’s story I’ve been working on, and I know she’ll be chomping at the bit.” I took two bags from the trunk of the car and headed for the door.

Miles grabbed two more bags and followed close behind. “Okay, but let’s be careful. I don’t want to run into Dragon.”

We reached the kitchen with no sign of Dragon. We placed the bags on the counter and started to go back for the rest of the groceries. As we walked through the living room, we were almost knocked over. My Old Dwarf came tearing past us, yelling, cussing, and waving his battle axe, in pursuit of a rabbit.

Dwarf chasing rabbit

“Ye be commin’ back here, ye consarned varmit! How did ye be gittin’ in the hoose, anywho?”

I grabbed my Old Dwarf as he made a second pass, chasing the rabbit around the room.

“Whoa! What are you doing? Put that axe down!”

“Yeah, ya big bully! Put that axe down!” The rabbit turned and scolded my Old Dwarf.

Rabbit yelling at Dwarf

My jaw dropped.

Miles grabbed my arm. “D . . . did that rabbit just say something?” My husband gaped at the small, white creature, who hopped over to stand in front of him.

“Hey, bub, don’t cha know it’s rude ta stare?”

I sighed. “Okay, not funny. Where’s my Arrogant One?”

“You mean this is one of the elf’s illusions?” Miles wiped his brow and looked relieved.

“It must be.” I frowned.

“Hey, sista, do I look like an illusion?” The rabbit thumped her hind foot and glared at me.

I turned to my Old Dwarf. “Find the elf.”

He nodded curtly and took off for the garden shed.

sorceress-facing-rightI heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Sorceress walking up the stairs. She nodded a greeting to Miles and me and walked over to stand with us. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the rabbit, who was now wandering around, inspecting the room. “I see you have met our visitor.”

I nodded, still frowning. “How long has she been here?”

“I am not sure, but some of her friends are in the conference room.” She raised an eyebrow and grimaced.

“Well, I just sent my Old Dwarf in search of my Arrogant One. As soon as the elf is here, he can get rid of the visitors.”

“Oh, these are not the elf’s illusions.” Sorceress shook her head.

“Then what?” My frown deepened.

“Toldja, sista. I ain’t no illusion!” The rabbit was standing in front of me again, a smug look on her furry little face.

“Then where did you come from?” As I realized what I said, I snorted and shook my head. “I don’t believe I’m trying to have a conversation with a rabbit.”

“Why not?” The rabbit looked insulted.


“Rabbits don’t talk.”

“Oh yeah?” The smug creature grinned.

I turned back to Sorceress. “You said this was not one of my Arrogant One’s illusions. So, where did a talking rabbit come from, and why is she here?”

“I think you best seek those answers from Cleric.”

Before I could inquire about Cleric’s part in all this, my Old Dwarf came back in, dragging my Arrogant One by the collar. The elf was screeching in his normal glass-shattering pitch. “Let go of me! I demand you release me this instant, you oaf!”


“As ye be wishin’, elfie.” The old reprobate deposited the elf at my feet.

“Sorry, we apparently don’t need him after all. I’ve been informed the rabbit, and several other visitors, are not his illusions.”

“Oh, well. No harm be done ’em.”

“No harm? Why you . . .”

But we didn’t get to hear what my Arrogant One had to say. At that moment, a large deer bolted up the stairs, wailing. “My baby! That beast is going to barbecue my baby!”Deer

Miles jumped back out of the deer’s way, pulling me with him. He gaped at the panicky animal, then turned to me. He looked almost as panicked as the deer. “Honey? What’s going on?”

Over the wailing and bleating of the deer, I shouted, “Why don’t we go down to the conference room and try to find out?”

The deer snorted and galloped down the stairs, the rabbit hot on her heels. Miles, Sorceress, and I followed at a more dignified pace. After a moment’s hesitation, my Old Dwarf grabbed my Arrogant One by the collar and ran after us, dragging the screeching elf behind him.

I stopped dead just inside the doorway of the conference room. On the one side of the room were the deer, the rabbit, a fawn, a trio of baby raccoons, and some baby birds. On the other side of the room was Dragon, glaring at the assembled animals and spewing black smoke. Cleric was in the middle, facing Dragon. Her arms and legs were spread wide, as if shielding the animals from Dragon, and tears were streaming down her face.

Cleric protecting animals

“Ya bedda do sometin’ quick, sista! Ya got yerself a baaaad situation here!” The rabbit hopped over and stood next to me. “Ya ain’t gonna let that there big, scaly brute barbecue us poor, defenseless little animals, now are ya?”

“What in the name of Sam Hill is going on here? Where did these animals come from?”

At my explosive outburst, everyone turned and stared at me. For a long few moments, you could hear a pin drop. Then chaos broke loose as Cleric, Dragon, and all the animals started talking at once.

Where did these animals come from? What part did Cleric have in their appearance? Why does Dragon want to barbecue them? Be sure to come back next week and see how this baaaad situation is resolved. We’ll leave the porch light on for you.