I decided this week to share some quotes:
Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises that help convert fats, sugars, and starches into aches, pains, and cramps. ~ Author Unknown
I have to exercise early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I am doing. ~ Daniel L. Worona
I am not overweight. I am a nutritional overachiever! ~ Anon.
There is nothing better than a good friend…except a good friend with chocolate. ~ Daniel L. Worona
The 12-step chocoholics program: never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! ~ Daniel L. Worona
I am not overweight. I am chocolate-enriched. ~ Daniel L. Worona
Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. ~ Author Unknown
Relish today. Catchup tomorrow. ~ Daniel L. Worona
STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards. ~ Daniel L. Worona
Caution: Hungry dieter…may bite if provoked. . ~ Daniel L. Worona
How can I go on a diet? The refrigerator is still full! ~ Daniel L. Worona
I gave up desserts. It was the worst twenty minutes of my life! ~ Daniel L. Worona
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me! ~ Daniel L. Worona
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. ~ Robert M. Hutchins
I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. ~ Mark Twain
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. ~ Author Unknown
You’ve reached middle age when all you exercise is caution. ~ Unknown
I’m on a seefood diet. I see food and I eat it. ~ Unknown
I’ve been on diets before. The only thing I’ve ever lost is my mind. ~ Unknown
So, has anyone guessed yet who started the New Year with a diet and exercise regime? Well, while you try to figure it out, let me just stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up, and go over here and gnaw on a table leg.
Oh, did I hear someone guess that yours truly is the one with a new diet and exercise regime? Ding ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner! Let’s tell the contestant what they won! Actually, you didn’t win a thing. So there!
Yeah, sorry about that. I don’t get along with diets, and I’m allergic to exercise. I get all cranky and snarky when I overuse my muscles and deprive my taste buds. And I have found that is not very conducive to my writing. None of my characters want to be around me. Not that I blame them. I don’t want to be around me.
So, I’ve decided to take a page from the movie industry. This week, I will be holding interviews to find a stunt double for myself. Whenever it is time to exercise or graze on some rabbit food, I’ll just have my stunt double take over.
Works for me!
Feel free to stop back from time to time and see the new thinner, healthier me. Or the new thinner, healthier stunt double. One of us will be here. I’ll keep the porch light on for you.