I decided this week to share some quotes:

Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises that help convert fats, sugars, and starches into aches, pains, and cramps. ~ Author Unknown

I have to exercise early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I am doing. ~ Daniel L. Worona

I am not overweight. I am a nutritional overachiever! ~ Anon.

There is nothing better than a good friend…except a good friend with chocolate. ~ Daniel L. Worona

The 12-step chocoholics program: never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! ~ Daniel L. Worona

I am not overweight. I am chocolate-enriched. ~ Daniel L. Worona

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. ~ Author Unknown

CHOC CAKE

Relish today. Catchup tomorrow. ~ Daniel L. Worona

STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards. ~ Daniel L. Worona

Caution: Hungry dieter…may bite if provoked. . ~ Daniel L. Worona

How can I go on a diet? The refrigerator is still full! ~ Daniel L. Worona

I gave up desserts. It was the worst twenty minutes of my life! ~ Daniel L. Worona

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me! ~ Daniel L. Worona

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. ~ Robert M. Hutchins

exercise

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. ~ Mark Twain

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. ~ Author Unknown

You’ve reached middle age when all you exercise is caution. ~ Unknown

I’m on a seefood diet. I see food and I eat it. ~ Unknown

I’ve been on diets before. The only thing I’ve ever lost is my mind. ~ Unknown

 
So, has anyone guessed yet who started the New Year with a diet and exercise regime? Well, while you try to figure it out, let me just stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up, and go over here and gnaw on a table leg.

Oh, did I hear someone guess that yours truly is the one with a new diet and exercise regime? Ding ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner! Let’s tell the contestant what they won! Actually, you didn’t win a thing. So there!

Yeah, sorry about that. I don’t get along with diets, and I’m allergic to exercise. I get all cranky and snarky when I overuse my muscles and deprive my taste buds. And I have found that is not very conducive to my writing. None of my characters want to be around me. Not that I blame them. I don’t want to be around me.

So, I’ve decided to take a page from the movie industry. This week, I will be holding interviews to find a stunt double for myself. Whenever it is time to exercise or graze on some rabbit food, I’ll just have my stunt double take over.

Works for me!

Feel free to stop back from time to time and see the new thinner, healthier me. Or the new thinner, healthier stunt double. One of us will be here. I’ll keep the porch light on for you.

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10 thoughts on “Stunt double auditions coming soon

    1. May be you can give the leg that you were going to gnaw to the winner. I guess this would bring a relief to your teeth:) Ding, ding, ding, ding. The best diet to me is eat what one feels like eating. But the disclaimer is that one shouldn’t like many things.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Good idea, Majdar! Offering a prize might attract more people to the audition! And my teeth would certainly be happier! 😉
        I always eat what I feel like eating – good, healthy food…followed up by way too many unhealthy snacks and desserts! I wish I didn’t like so many things, but I have never met a donut or a potato chip that I didn’t like.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. May be you can give the table leg that you were going to gnaw, to the winner. I guess this would bring a relief to your teeth:) Ding, ding, ding, ding. The best diet to me is eat what you feels like eating. But the disclaimer is that one shouldn’t like many things.

    Like

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